Fed up

Day in day out women anticipate and manage the needs of others. In relationships we initiate the hard conversations. At home we shoulder the mental load required to keep our households running. At work we moderate our tone explaining patiently and speaking softly. In the world we step gingerly to keep ourselves safe. We do this largely invisible draining work whether we want to or not—and we never clock out. No wonder women everywhere are overtaxed exhausted and simply fed up. In her ultra-viral article “Women Aren’t Nags—We’re Just Fed Up ” shared by millions of readers Gemma Hartley gave much-needed voice to the frustration and anger experienced by countless women. Now in Fed Up Hartley expands outward from the everyday frustrations of performing thankless emotional labor to illuminate how the expectation to do this work in all arenas—private and public—fuels gender inequality limits our opportunities steals our time and adversely affects the quality of our lives. More than just name the problem though Hartley teases apart the cultural messaging that has led us here and asks how we can shift the load. Rejecting easy solutions that don’t ultimately move the needle Hartley offers a nuanced insightful guide to striking real balance for true partnership in every aspect of our lives. Reframing emotional labor not as a problem to be overcome but as a genderless virtue men and women can all learn to channel in our quest to make a better more egalitarian world "Fed Up" is surprising intelligent and empathetic essential reading for every woman who has had enough with feeling fed up.